The only thing worse than schlepping to the store to buy Mother’s Day cards in May is enduring the search for a decent Father’s Day card in June.
There’s less selection — it seems as though there are half as many to choose from — and the tone of the cards is all over the map.
Out on a hunting expedition with my 14-year-old son, we pored over representations of Neanderthals swearing and images of pizza and beer.
There were innumerable cartoon dogs — in suits, in laborer attire, in superhero costumes. And caricatures of aged, broken men illustrating the horrible physical aftereffects of decades of child rearing — with plenty of vague references to kid-annoyance-induced drinking.
“All of these cards involve farts, butts or nose-picking,” observed my son, who is not immune to the charms of these topics in certain well-timed contexts. But he was frustrated at not being able to find something right for either his dad or grandfather.
There were wildly crass cards such as the one with nothing more than a line drawing of a bull over the word “CRAP” on the cover. And laughably sappy ones: “It’s not just mama bears who are fierce, devoted and protective. It’s papa bears, too.”