"600 words by Esther J. Cepeda"

Say goodbye to XP and embrace change

"600 words by Esther J. Cepeda"

There is no life after death for hard drives – not mine anyway. Having lost everything a few weeks ago, I started anew. Which is how I came to learn a lesson in death, rebirth, change, and surrender through Microsoft's Vista operating system.

I ordered "one of everything" from my favorite PC manufacturer, knowing I was getting all the newest stuff but not predicting that the moment that baby fired up, I'd be reduced to a computer novice, unable to execute the simplest function – "save as" – at the worst possible moment: on deadline.

After several days of chanting "change is good, change is good, change is good…" while bumbling through folder architecture that only vaguely looked familiar, then finally coming to some rudimentary ability to navigate my electronic life, I let go of my self image as "tech savvy" and blew in a call.

"When in doubt, hover," said Adam J. Hecktman, a Director at Chicago's Microsoft's Technology Center, referring to the instantly expanding and, for my taste, waaaay too smart tool bars crowded at the top of Microsoft Word. I sheepishly admitted to him that after about two weeks of typing like a tourist strolls down Michigan Avenue, I finally realized that the circular logo on the top left hand corner was clickable and contained the "save as" function I so desperately needed. Like on Michigan Avenue, there's a lot to look at.

"We call [the toolbars in the office suit] the ribbon. It's laid out so that the tools you need are grouped together by functionality and instantly accessible and fully customizable based on what you're trying to do," he said. Which brought me back to what I was trying to do: that is, the same thing over and over again – type a text document – in the same way I always have, so I didn't have to think about the process, only the final product. But that's not how life is, is it?

Sure, when I bought my new computer I could have ordered XP, and stayed in my comfort zone, but I saw the storm clouds gathering and decided to just get wet now.

"The magic date [for XP] is the 'end of sales' date – June 30, 2008 – but that's not an 'end of support' date. We will continue to provide security updates and other critical updates for Windows XP until April, 2014 – there are some people who will keep their Windows-based PCs for many, many years."

Adam and I had a hardy laugh at the thought of there being people "somewhere out there" still proudly running their PCs on DOS, writing manifestos in WordPerfect. Then we laughed hardily at me who has a step-by-step guide to installing DOS on Vista – so a certain video game can be played – sitting on the desk in front of me. Some things, after all, are worth holding on to.

I stopped to think: Adam and I have had full, rich lives in the twenty-two years since Microsoft launched Windows. That's twelve versions, and a whopping six years since the last new opsys, XP, was released. Many, many, lifetimes in the computer world – it was time to get used to something new, and in no time all my pals will be asking me for tech support again.

Until then, I'm meditating on the teachings of Buddha who said, "Everything changes, nothing remains without change." And I'm keeping in mind the words of Adam, my new Microsoft friend, who gave me wisdom I believe I'll be able to carry with me for a lifetime: "When in doubt: hover."

Esther J. Cepeda writes the "600 Words" & "Pregunta del Dia" columns, and is also a Director at the Chicago-based United Neighborhood Organization. Her reporting and opinions do not necessarily reflect those of UNO. "600 words" is a registered trademark of EeJayCee, Inc., Copyright 2008. May be reprinted with permission, contact

eejaycee@600words.com

The Tao of Jack Black

"600 Words" by Esther J. Cepeda

He's fat. He's jiggly. He can belt out a tune and makes me laugh. He is my sage.

Jack Black, in his cinematic tromp through the wisdom of the ages, has done it once more. He is, again, the protagonist in a film whose undercurrent is the power of positive belief in your grandest dreams.

This time he scatters Lao Tzu and Taoism's "10,000 things" of inner love and outer peace across the silver screen in Kung Fu Panda, where he "stars" as "Po," the fat panda who emerges as the unlikely Dragon Warrior who will save the animal populace of the Chinese Valley of Peace from the evil Tai Lung who himself is bent on snatching the powerful Dragon Scroll from the temple of wisdom.

This is not the first time the jelly-bellied comic actor has contorted himself within a story-line featuring a sweet underdog who sees beyond the practicalities of those who tell him it can't be – when he knows it can – then makes it so.

From his debut in one of my favorite movies, Bob Roberts, as a true-believing devotee of the eponymous questionable senatorial candidate (Tim Robbins) to the bumbling and Shallow Hal who falls in love with a big, fat blonde but only sees her true inner beauty, Black has mostly picked projects with undeniably uplifting themes.

Who can forget Black's turn in School of Rock as Dewey Finn who literally manifests a rock band out of a pack of spoiled rich kids? Or Nacho Libre where the once-orphaned brother Nacho realizes his dream of becoming the greatest Lucha Libre "luchador" in the world? Long before he triumphs in a dusty Mexican ring against such prize-fighters as "Silencio" and "Ramses," he tells himself: "I am the gatekeeper of my own destiny, and I will have my glory days." He sure does.

Kung Fu Panda pushes major tenets of Taoism to a mainstream audience in a way that that Mike Myers' new film The Love Guru, replete with penis jokes and other entendres, couldn't, though I think it half-heartedly wanted to.

Take Oogway: "There are no accidents." And "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."

Also: "One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it." And my very favorite: "There is no good news, there is no bad news, there is only news."

Shifu, the kung fu teacher, tells us: "I ask you to trust in your master as I have come to trust in mine." Beautiful.

Po, in his opening dream – before he begins to fulfill his destiny as the true Dragon Warrior – says of his kung fu prowess: "It is said that his enemies would go blind from over-exposure to pure awesomeness!" (That's so "hard core!") If that isn't the power of positive thinking to manifest your own destiny, then I'm Deepak Chopra.

Obviously, I'm not Deepak, and Jack Black is no Lao Tzu. But sitting in a darkened room with popcorn and JB's jiggling inspiration, I call him "teacher."

Esther J. Cepeda writes the "600 Words" & "Pregunta del Dia" columns, and is also a Director at the Chicago-based United Neighborhood Organization. Her reporting and opinions do not necessarily reflect those of UNO. "600 words" is a registered trademark of EeJayCee, Inc., Copyright 2008. May be reprinted with permission, contact

eejaycee@600words.com

I'm not a terrorist

“Pregunta del Dia” by Esther J. Cepeda

“Pregunta del Dia” translates from Spanish into Question of the Day and today’s was delivered at 12:15 am this morning at the McDonald’s inside Chicago Union Station by a seemingly stone-cold-sober Cubs fan catching a snack before boarding a Metra train out to the ‘burbs.

After the blond-haired, blue-eyed young man let loose a string of vile expletives to his eating companions, then caught my icy glare for polluting our communal space with his negativity, he retaliated against my silent protest of his rude behavior by asking me the following:

Q. Do you have fun blowing up buildings, you ------- terrorist? Huh? You heard me, you ------- ---- terrorist!

A. How to reply?

My mouth dropped open and I smiled, 100% sure he was kidding. His mocking face followed by another string of even worse garbage set me straight.

I tried to lighten the mood with the platitude: “Would you talk like that in front of your mother?” Things devolved from there and after he reiterated today’s “pregunta,” with various vivid details added, my loud indignation had attracted one of Chicago’s finest who directed him and his posse to leave the station.

Let me back up. Twenty-four hours prior to the incident, I had decided to write for Friday about the ridiculous accusations made about Food Network star Rachel Ray’s Dunkin’ Donuts commercial being taken off the air. Conservative Filipina columnist Michelle Malkin, and other bloggers, said Rachel’s scarf looked like a keffiyeh reminiscent of those that some Middle Easterners wear. Malkin has dropped bombs like this on America’s dark-haired sweetheart over the last week: “many readers have e-mailed about, Dunkin Donuts’ spokeswoman Rachel Ray’s clueless sporting of a jihadi chic keffiyeh in a recent DD ad campaign. I’m hoping her hate couture choice was spurred more by ignorance than ideology.” Apparently Rachel would be a lot sweeter if her costume designer was less flamboyant.

Early Thursday I’d started my day at the Chicago Google offices munching on bagels with some of the smartest innovators in the world and brightest young business people in town at the Executives Club of Chicago’s New Leaders general meeting.

A few hours later I lunched at a fancy downtown restaurant with the leader of a multi-million dollar business. Later I hopped into a cab – the driver had greeted me warmly in a language I didn’t understand because he mistook me for a fellow Indian – on my way to a lecture at the Arts and Business Council of Chicago’s “Rise of the Cultural Consumer” program at the Alliance Française where I learned about the bright future of our society. I topped the night off with not one, but two, fancy parties with some of Chicago’s most influential young professionals. Shortly after midnight I was attacked because I quietly resisted someone’s foul language with a disapproving look.

For the first time in my Cinderella-story-book life, I was simply one of so many others who are looked at with suspicion because of the color of their hair, eyes, and skin. I was shamed in front of an instantly-alarmed crowd at a major Midwestern transportation hub by a dangerous federally-defined insult.

Informing my fellow midnight-snacker that I was born in the United States as I gathered my things – and as the policewoman started getting heavy on him – probably went unheard. Besides, I was too busy scurrying away to cry out of sight to enunciate properly.

Here’s my answer again: On behalf of myself, of good-lookin’-and-good-cookin’ multi-millionairess Rachel Ray, and on behalf of every other person in this country with dark hair, dark eyes, but no dark intentions: I am not a terrorist.

Esther J. Cepeda writes the “600 Words” & “Pregunta del Dia” columns, and is also a Director at the Chicago-based United Neighborhood Organization. Her reporting and opinions do not necessarily reflect those of UNO. “600 words” is a registered trademark of EeJayCee, Inc., Copyright 2008. May be reprinted with permission, contact eejaycee@600words.com

John Lennon was no William Shatner

by Esther J. Cepeda

"Pregunta del Dia" translates to Question of the Day and today’s is a rumination from myself (I can do that y’know)

Q. Is Star Trek "God" and is William Shatner "Jesus?"

A. Yes you read that correctly, and no, I did not mean is Captain James T. Kirk "Jesus."

Allow me to set the dots and then I’ll connect them for you.

No, I’m not a heretic, it’s just that coincidences (events that coincide i.e., correspond exactly) this week have led me to wonder.

Not only did William Shatner, hereby referred to only as SHATNER, appear to me in the form of a direct mail piece sprung on me late at night in a tired stupor and as a four-color animatron as I purchased on-line, but so did "Star Trek"(which I hated, hated, hated as a child because it was boring to me and seemed to be always on TV on my lonely Saturday afternoons). This flowed from the mouths of two people I admire greatly within 24-hours of each other.

Thursday morning – at the top of the world – on the 66th floor of the Sears Tower in Chicago, John W. Rowe, 62, chairman and chief executive officer of Exelon Corporation at a meeting of the Executives Club of Chicago, talked about reducing carbon emissions by 2020 and invoked a Star Trek episode in which some-thing-or-other tried to eradicate the carbon-based life forms.

Friday morning Neil Steinberg, Chicago Sun-Times columnist, wrote about ex-Gov. George Ryan mis-quoting Lincoln by actually quoting someone who was playing Abraham Lincoln in an episode of…you guessed it.

The other obvious contender for such mythical status is "Star Wars" and its’ "force," (another pop-culture phenomenon I know nothing about) which is openly practiced as a multi-lingual, multi-cultural religion in some corners of the world, but: 1) Darth Vader doesn’t actually walk among us (James Earl Jones isn’t nearly that tall or intimidating) like SHATNER. And 2) SHATNER is, well…SHATNER!

How a show that accurately predicted the future -- today's realities -- and how Shatner can become one man-character-god, infused into my life in a billion different ways (my freshman AP biology teacher made our final "A nature example of the Prime Directive." I had no idea whatsoever what that even meant. I can’t believe I slid out with a "C.") is beyond comprehension. John Lennon once got himself in hot water for comparing his fame to Jesus. SHATNER has legions doing it for him (Oh yeah, just Google it).

I surrender. I have no answer to whether SHATNER is "the savior" but I’m going to paint him as the Virgin Guadalupe on black velvet just in case.

Esther J. Cepeda writes the “600 Words” & “Pregunta del Dia” columns, and is also a Director at the Chicago-based United Neighborhood Organization. Her reporting and opinions do not necessarily reflect those of UNO. “600 words” is a registered trademark of EeJayCee, Inc., Copyright 2008. May be reprinted with permission, contact eejaycee@600words.com